Some tips for those considering a divorce

If your life is such that you are considering a dissolution of marriage, there are a number of things that you may want to consider. The first is that it is very important to make your decisions after getting all the possible information you can. You may want to consult with an attorney, even if you haven’t made a final decision yet. An attorney can ensure that you are informed of your rights, obligations and any preparations you may need to make. You can be advised about the divorce laws in your state, court costs, attorneys’ fees, and the ins and outs of child support, custody, visitation, property division and spousal support.

It is also important to remain calm. Yes, there are many things to consider, including who will take care of the kids, where to live, whether to sell the home, and the impact on relations with friends and family members. Getting too upset about these things can lead to unnecessary negative consequences. Concentrate on retaining your job, continuing to care for the needs of your children, and focus on what is important to you.

Remember that your kids continue to need both parents and that regardless of any animosity that exists between you and your spouse, even after a divorce you will need to cooperate together and communicate for the children’s benefit. Accordingly, major expressions of anger can be counterproductive.

That leads to another good piece of general advice. Think before you speak and don’t say anything that you might come to regret later. A divorce can be resolved in a fairly civil mature manner, or it can become the arena for a prolonged battle over each and every little thing. Long drawn-out bitter conflicts can become nightmares that no one benefits from and are costly both financially and emotionally to both spouses.

Source:  Huffington Post, “Five Best Choices You Can Make When It Comes to Your Divorce” Michelle Rozen, May. 13, 2013